14-02-2011, 11:42 PM
Pikachu: Hello, loyal viewers. As most of you know today is a very special day indeed, a day of love, celebration, and corporate lies.
Samus: Oh! Is it Kwanza?
Pikachu: No that is not the holiday I am talking about...but it does fit the description.
Chilla: Easter?
Pikachu: Also wrong. That holiday has no love whatsoever. Anyone else?
Random Space Pirate: It must be Canadian Independence Day! GAAH!!!
The Space Pirate falls to the ground after being shot several times
Pikachu: The next person that mentions a Canadian holiday will be blasted by an RPG! Now...come on...doesn't anyone know the holiday? Kraid?
Kraid: Uh...
Pikachu: Ridley?
Ridley: I don't know...
Pikachu: Well then...how about Joseph Stalin? Do YOU know what day it is?
Stalin: National Kill a Capitalist Day?
Pikachu: Actually I am not surprised you didn't know Stalin...but the rest of you? Come on! It's Valentines Day!
Kraid: Um...do we get to shoot people on Valargines Day?
Pikachu: It's Valentines Day and NO we don't shoot people!
Kraid: You mean that nobody gets killed? Thats absurd!
Ridley: He's right. You can't have a holiday without mass slaughter. Particularly of short people. I hate short people. All of us do. Its funny because it's actually canon.
Chilla: Now I see why they have such a terrible society...
Samus: You JUST figured that out?!?
Pikachu: ...anyways Valentines Day is about love and affection and kindness and corporate greed caused by thousands of dollars spent on worthless cards with candy put in them.
Samus: Oh yeah! Thats my favorite part! I LOOOOOOVE candy!
Pikachu: Yes but what I want to start out with is how Valentines Day first started. You see, a long time ago in the ancient Roman Empire there was a man by the name of Valentine who was a soldier. Because he defied the emperor's orders that soldiers had to remain bachlers by marrying several women, he was put to death on February 14th. After he died he was named a Saint and that date he died on was made a holiday called Saint Valentines Day. On that day it was believed that cupid would shoot people in the ass with arrows, somehow making them fall in love. Then came the great corruption of holidays and here we are today!
Kraid: ...uh
Samus: Strange...
Chilla: Wait, are you saying this guy became a Saint JUST because he committed adultery?
Pikachu: Hell, in Italy you can become a Saint by changing the TV channel with a PS3 controller. Although, these practices were diminished with the rise of Christianity, which because of the way it was run, made it very hard to become a Saint, but it took almost ZERO effort for one to become a Tyrant. And thats where we are now.
Chilla: DAMN YOU JESUS CHRIST AND YOUR DAMN ORTHODOXY!!!
Pikachu: Yes. Quite. However, today I was hoping to make Valentines Day a little more modern.
Samus: ...like how?
Pikachu: Well, they say that cupid shoots people with love arrows, right? However those are very out dated and down right inconvenient. So I'm proposing something new...
Ridley: And just what would that be?
Pikachu: THIS!!! Behold! The love bazooka! It fires plasma charged RPGs of love at the target. It make the target fall in love, if they survive the impact...
Ridley: WOO!!! Now THATS what I'm talking about!
Chilla: What kind of fucked up purpose will that serve!?!
Pikachu: Oh shut up. Now...lets test it out on this geemer.
Pikachu shoots an RPG out of the bazooka but it misses the geemer, proceeds to bounce of the walls, and hits Chilla in the back.
Samus: HOLY CHRIST!!!
Kraid: Damn that wall is tough
Pikachu: ...uh...minor miscalculation...Chilla?
Chilla: Uh...skizorks...Pika...chu? I just realized...how much...
Chill manages to get up from the dust with a bit of vibrating in her body
Pikachu: How much what?
Chilla: I just...realized...how much I LOVE YOU!!!
Pikachu: OH CRAP!!!
Ridley: This should be fun...
Chilla then proceeds to chase Pikachu around the room while the others munch on chocolates
Pikachu: AAAAAHHHH!!! GET HER AWAY FROM ME!!!
Chilla: Wait! Come back! I thought we had something!
Samus: Hahaha! This turned out to be VERY amusing.
Stalin: I'll say.
Lenin: Well said Stalin.
Kim Jong Il: Quite so.
Samus: GET OUT YOU FILTHY COMMUNISTS!!!
Pikachu: AAAAAHHH!!! Uh...new episodes of Samus and Pikachu will come out in a few days...we've just had writers block...I gotta go. AAAAAHHH!!!
Chilla: WAIT UP!!! I wanna share my LOVE!!!
Pikachu: Keep it to yourself!!!
Kraid: Okay. That raps it up. See you next time!
Samus: Buy!
Ridley: And have a happy Valentines Day!
Samus: Oh! Is it Kwanza?
Pikachu: No that is not the holiday I am talking about...but it does fit the description.
Chilla: Easter?
Pikachu: Also wrong. That holiday has no love whatsoever. Anyone else?
Random Space Pirate: It must be Canadian Independence Day! GAAH!!!
The Space Pirate falls to the ground after being shot several times
Pikachu: The next person that mentions a Canadian holiday will be blasted by an RPG! Now...come on...doesn't anyone know the holiday? Kraid?
Kraid: Uh...
Pikachu: Ridley?
Ridley: I don't know...
Pikachu: Well then...how about Joseph Stalin? Do YOU know what day it is?
Stalin: National Kill a Capitalist Day?
Pikachu: Actually I am not surprised you didn't know Stalin...but the rest of you? Come on! It's Valentines Day!
Kraid: Um...do we get to shoot people on Valargines Day?
Pikachu: It's Valentines Day and NO we don't shoot people!
Kraid: You mean that nobody gets killed? Thats absurd!
Ridley: He's right. You can't have a holiday without mass slaughter. Particularly of short people. I hate short people. All of us do. Its funny because it's actually canon.
Chilla: Now I see why they have such a terrible society...
Samus: You JUST figured that out?!?
Pikachu: ...anyways Valentines Day is about love and affection and kindness and corporate greed caused by thousands of dollars spent on worthless cards with candy put in them.
Samus: Oh yeah! Thats my favorite part! I LOOOOOOVE candy!
Pikachu: Yes but what I want to start out with is how Valentines Day first started. You see, a long time ago in the ancient Roman Empire there was a man by the name of Valentine who was a soldier. Because he defied the emperor's orders that soldiers had to remain bachlers by marrying several women, he was put to death on February 14th. After he died he was named a Saint and that date he died on was made a holiday called Saint Valentines Day. On that day it was believed that cupid would shoot people in the ass with arrows, somehow making them fall in love. Then came the great corruption of holidays and here we are today!
Kraid: ...uh
Samus: Strange...
Chilla: Wait, are you saying this guy became a Saint JUST because he committed adultery?
Pikachu: Hell, in Italy you can become a Saint by changing the TV channel with a PS3 controller. Although, these practices were diminished with the rise of Christianity, which because of the way it was run, made it very hard to become a Saint, but it took almost ZERO effort for one to become a Tyrant. And thats where we are now.
Chilla: DAMN YOU JESUS CHRIST AND YOUR DAMN ORTHODOXY!!!
Pikachu: Yes. Quite. However, today I was hoping to make Valentines Day a little more modern.
Samus: ...like how?
Pikachu: Well, they say that cupid shoots people with love arrows, right? However those are very out dated and down right inconvenient. So I'm proposing something new...
Ridley: And just what would that be?
Pikachu: THIS!!! Behold! The love bazooka! It fires plasma charged RPGs of love at the target. It make the target fall in love, if they survive the impact...
Ridley: WOO!!! Now THATS what I'm talking about!
Chilla: What kind of fucked up purpose will that serve!?!
Pikachu: Oh shut up. Now...lets test it out on this geemer.
Pikachu shoots an RPG out of the bazooka but it misses the geemer, proceeds to bounce of the walls, and hits Chilla in the back.
Samus: HOLY CHRIST!!!
Kraid: Damn that wall is tough
Pikachu: ...uh...minor miscalculation...Chilla?
Chilla: Uh...skizorks...Pika...chu? I just realized...how much...
Chill manages to get up from the dust with a bit of vibrating in her body
Pikachu: How much what?
Chilla: I just...realized...how much I LOVE YOU!!!
Pikachu: OH CRAP!!!
Ridley: This should be fun...
Chilla then proceeds to chase Pikachu around the room while the others munch on chocolates
Pikachu: AAAAAHHHH!!! GET HER AWAY FROM ME!!!
Chilla: Wait! Come back! I thought we had something!
Samus: Hahaha! This turned out to be VERY amusing.
Stalin: I'll say.
Lenin: Well said Stalin.
Kim Jong Il: Quite so.
Samus: GET OUT YOU FILTHY COMMUNISTS!!!
Pikachu: AAAAAHHH!!! Uh...new episodes of Samus and Pikachu will come out in a few days...we've just had writers block...I gotta go. AAAAAHHH!!!
Chilla: WAIT UP!!! I wanna share my LOVE!!!
Pikachu: Keep it to yourself!!!
Kraid: Okay. That raps it up. See you next time!
Samus: Buy!
Ridley: And have a happy Valentines Day!