Legendary Pokémon

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Hehe thank goodness them things are creepy...........
Aren't they? Now if you excuse me, I'm looking at MEMEZ.
Combine News Update!

An anonymous bystander claimes to have seen the aggressor. He knows the murderer as the legendary Tails Doll. The Tails Doll is infamous for a curse that accompanies it. The secret witness says that he knows a guy who knows a guy that can take care of this problem.

Visit the asylum to get more information.
Hold on there cowboy! I still need to finish the pony saga. Luckily, I have a new episode...

My little Combine
I used to wonder what insanity could be
My little Combine
Until you all shared its terrors with me
Insomnia, anger
Kleptomania
Narcissism
Pyromania
Schizophrenia
Its an easy feat
And psychosis makes it all complete
My little Combine
I sure hope all their mania eeeeeeennnnnnnds

Hello thar loyal viewers. Last time on Pokerus, the town of Ponyville ended up being warped away from Panequus and ended up on Combine. The confused residents of the town are in a state of panic as the land that they have been warped to is desolate and lifeless. To make matters worse, a group of fanatical humans saw the crash, and are heading to the area right now to exterminate all of the ponies. Luckily, the residents of Pokerus also saw the crash, and are headed towards Ponyville right now in order to avert disaster. We rejoin the show with our heroic pokemon with the show already in progress.

Oshawott: Snivy, are you sure that these 4 Warthogs will be strong enough to fight an armada of helicopters?
Snivy: "Armada"? There is no way that the humans could find any more than-
Suddenly at least 2 dozen helicopters fly over Pokerus.
Snivy: My mistake. EVERYONE GO GO GO!!!
The pokemon go into their 2 person anti-air Warthogs and race towards Ponyville. Of course, things aren't exactly rosy down there.
Pinkie Pie: I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!!!
Derpy Hooves: CHILLA AND PIKACHU HAVE A KID!!!
Rainbow Dash: VULPIX IS A ROBOT!!!
Rarity: MOTHER BRAIN REACHES HER PERFECT FORM!!!
Applejack: FLUTTERSHY IS THE DOVAHKIIN!!!
Fluttershy: GOREA IS GONNA TAKE OVER TWILIGHT SPARKLE'S MIND!!!
Derpy Hooves: GOHAN BECOMES THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE BUT STILL DOESN'T DO CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!
Twilight Sparkle: Are you quite done?
Rainbow Dash: I think so...
Pinkie Pie: Good! Because we need to get the hell out of here right now before the aliens kill us!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh be reasonable. Why would they want to kill us?
Pinkie Pie: Because I know THAT'S WHAT ALIENS DO!!!
Twilight Sparkle: The same way you "knew" Zocora was an "evil enchantress"?
Applejack: Come on! We have to get out of here before-
The helicopters suddenly appear right above Ponyville.
Twilight Sparkle: Huh. That's a lot of helicopters.
Fluttershy: EEP! Please don't kill me please don't kill me please don't kill me-
Twilight Sparkle: You're all being irrational. Maybe if we just talked to them then-
One helicopter flies in close and starts shooting.
Rarity: Told you.
Twilight Sparkle: My mistake. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
The other helicopters circling Ponyville start swooping in trying to shoot the ponies. Naturally, they all go into an even greater panic and start fleeing while the helicopters try to mow them down.
Pinkie Pie: I TOLD you that they wanted to kill us! But NOOOO you didn't fucking LISTEN!!!
Twilight Sparkle: Can we please discuss this SOMEWHERE else?!?
Pinkie Pie: Why should we!?!
A helicopter swoops down and fires a missile.
Rarity: Because THAT.
The helicopter suddenly turns and hoovers right in front of our main six ponies.
Fluttershy: Gulp...
Applejack: Well, this doesn't bode well.
Rainbow Dash: YOU DON'T SAY!!!
Twilight Sparkle: Hold on! I'll try reasoning with them!
Applejack: Twilight, are you CRAZY!?! The aliens want to kill us!
Twilight Sparkle: It might just be because of a misunderstanding! Come on!
Fluttershy: Well...okay...
Twilight Sparkle walks right up to the helicopter to try negotiating with it.
Twilight Sparkle: Hello aliens. Do you think we could talk for a sec-
The helicopter starts firing.
Pinkie Pie: Well that was RUDE!
Twilight Sparkle: RUN!!!
Our main six ponies start running as 3 more helicopters start chasing them.
Rarity: Oh god why? WHY!!! Why must this happen to ME!!!
Rainbow Dash: We're gonna die out here, aren't we?
Twilight Sparkle: We AREN'T! We just need to-
The helicopters catch up with the main 6 ponies and start circling them.
Fluttershy: We're doomed.
Just before the helicopters can fire however, a blast comes from the distance. The orange colored plasma blast cuts through the air and goes right through 3 of the helicopters, which subsequently explode. The others begin to turn their attention to those who have just arrived.
Twilight Sparkle: What the...who...
Oshawott: OH YEAH!!! SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL BITCHES!!!
Fluttershy: HOORAY!!! MY SAVIOR!!!
In the distance, several more helicopters explode from the amount of damage they are taking.
Emolga: Haha! We got them that time!
Rainbow Dash: ACK!!! MORE ALIENS!!!
Pinkie Pie: EVERYPONY FOR HERSELF!!!
Pinkie Pie tries to flee from Oshawott and Emolga, but ends up hitting a rock.
Oshawott: Calm the fuck down girls, we're not trying to kill you.
Rarity: ORLY!?! Because those HELICOPTERS say otherwise!
Emolga: Well, THOSE guys are evil.
Fluttershy: But...why do they want to kill us?
Emolga: I don't know. Something about them thinking you're demons or whatever...
Applejack: That makes no sense...
Oshawott: We'll explain later. Jump on in and let's go!
The ponies all jump into the Warthog and ride out as the battle between pokemon and humans continues.
Snivy: This is Green Lantern to Rofl Copter. How are things going?
Oshawott: This is Rofl Copter. We just picked up 6 ponies. They were about to get whooped by the humans, but we saved them in time.
Twilight Sparkle: Who's on that other line?
Oshawott: Snivy and Vulpix. They're in the Warthog code named Green Lantern.
Pinkie Pie: WOOHOO!!! ROAD TRIP!!! YEEEEEEHAAAAAAW!!!
Emolga: Is she normally this hyper?
Rarity: Tell ME about it.
Pinkie Pie: DUN NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH HIIIIIGHWAAAAAAY TO THE DANGER ZONE!!!
Twilight Sparkle: It's official: THIS IS THE WEIRDEST DAY EVER!!!
Pinkie Pie continues singing Danger Zone while Oshawott gets another transmission.
Patchiritsu: This is Squirrelasaurus to Rofl Copter! We have an emergency!
Oshawott: What do you mean?
Magmar: The humans have released their bioweapons! We keep firing at them but they keep curling back into armadillo form! I think these things are called...Megadillos...
Oshawott: Space of the what now?
Magmar: Well, they look like armadillos anyways, but they're really big and really spikey!
Oshawott: Stay tight. I'm on my way-
And then Rofl Copter gets hit by a Megadillo. The Megadillo slices clean through the vehicle, causing it to explode, and subsequently sending Oshawott, Emolga, and the ponies flying. Right after this happens, several human foot soldiers start charging in.
Fluttershy: EEP!!! THEY'RE GONNA KILL US!!!
Emolga: And this, my friends is why we have guns.
Oshawott and Emolga pull out their laser guns and begin firing at the human troops.
Oshawott: Go now! We can hold them off!
Twilight Sparkle: But you'll get killed!
Oshawott: We'll be fine! Now go! You ponies are more important right now!
Pinkie Pie: Righto! Head on out everypony!
The main six ponies begin to flee, but then a huge amount of troops pour in, surrounding Oshawott, Emolga, and the ponies. Backing the troops are several more Megadillos, and 2 more helicopters which come down right above them.
Rainbow Dash: Well, aint THIS a cluster fuck!
The helicopter pilot makes a surprising move and steps outside of his helicopter.
Emolga: Ah...figures you were behind this Zorzula...
This person happens to be none other than Zorzula, the commander of the humans on Combine!
Zorzula: Well well well...looks like we finally cornered you demons.
Applejack: The hell is he talking about?
Zorzula: Quiet you! I'm gonna send you back to your master in the fiery depths of hell by the name of our Lord almighty himself!
Oshawott: You're even more delusional than I remembered.
Zorzula: Delusional? DELUSIONAL!?! The servants of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are NOT delusional!
Twilight Sparkle: This won't end well...
As much as I'd LOVE to continue this conversation, we're kinda out of time, so we'll continue this next time on Pokerus!
What I'm doing is putting in some news updates on the Combine News Company. With some help from my buddy, Lakitu.
Don't worry, your material will come into play shortly...
As He Came Into The Window
It Was The Sound Of A
Crescendo
He Came Into Her Apartment
He Left The Bloodstains On
The Carpet
She Ran Underneath The Table
He Could See She Was Unable
So She Ran Into The Bedroom
She Was Struck Down, It Was
Her Doom!!

Just call me a Smooth Criminal! I am a pirate, after all!
Marine the Raccoon: M.55, mate. What does the scouter say about the ponies friendship level?
M.55: IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!
Marine: What!? 9000!? Strewth! There's no way that can be right!
M.55: Well, that's what it said! Honest to God!
(28-08-2011 10:29 PM)Terraplant Wrote: [ -> ]That was quite nice! I would like you to meet a friend. His name is Sandile and he is a Sandile. He is a CSI fan and he speaks with one-liners most of the time. Sandile,what did you think of this episode?
Sandile:Well this episode...*puts blackglasses on*...really touched my heart

Young man, you made my day. LOL.
(21-05-2012 12:06 AM)sweet-devil Wrote: [ -> ]
(28-08-2011 10:29 PM)Terraplant Wrote: [ -> ]That was quite nice! I would like you to meet a friend. His name is Sandile and he is a Sandile. He is a CSI fan and he speaks with one-liners most of the time. Sandile,what did you think of this episode?
Sandile:Well this episode...*puts blackglasses on*...really touched my heart

Young man, you made my day. LOL.

Just remember, don't feed the parasites. Only feed the "puts on sunglasses*
PARASPRITES!!!!
Oshawott: YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
M.55: Equestria is rather...colorful. Ponies! I wish to speak with your ruler.
Pinkie Pie: Sure! This way! *Rushes off*
M.55: Hmm.
Axem Red: What's up?
M.55: Something about that pink Pony rubs me the wrong way. Y'know how I can look into the souls of living beings, right?
Axem Red: Yeah?
M.55: Well, when I looked into her soul, I saw something I didn't like. A kind of...mental instability...
Alright, rather than doing the normal thing and continuing with THAT storyline, I'm going to do a different one, almost ENTIRELY consisting of ponies! Don't worry fangirls, we'll get back to that one eventually. But for now let's skip over to Equestria, and let's set the scene.

Our main character (normally) here in our Equestrian adventures is Nexus, a human turned pony through an alien invasion and an encounter with the legendary god Mewtini. With Mewtini's help, Nexus stopped the alien invasion, and as reward for his bravery was transported to Equestria. So then that happened, and after a series of events involving internet trolls, dragons, Zerg, Mewtini losing his powers and becoming Equestria bound, and a war between the Zerg and the Changelings. Our last major event featured Nexus, Mewtini, and the Mane 6 attempting to recover a Xel'Naga artifact from the Changeling capitol of Bibracte. However, the Zerg Overmind seemed to have the exact same idea. The Zerg Swarm arrived just before our heroes did, and a full scale battle ensued between the army of Chrysalis and the army of the Overmind. In the mist of all this, our heroes snuck in and recovered the Xel'Naga artifact. However, right at that moment, the Changelings and the Zerg took the fight inside the Hive Cluster. Realizing that they were trapped inside and surrounded by hostiles, our heroes activated the Xel'Naga artifact. This resulted in the Zerg getting neutralized and the Changelings getting killed. All except for 2, a male and a female. These 2 came to be known as Anon and Renelia. Renelia is probably the most pony-like of the 2, as she displays a full range of emotions, and she doesn't have to feed off of emotions. Anon, however, is pretty morbid and depressing. He doesn't feel joy, love, or happiness (unless somepony else is in pain), and will vampiricaly drain energy from others.

Despite Anon's obvious lack of a soul, Fluttershy develops a fanatic crush on Anon. What's more, Fluttershy is now convinced that she needs to have sex with Anon, and every day tries desperately to find Anon's fetish. Which starts to become a theme over the next several days. Now that we've brought you up to speed, let's get right into our story!

Oshawott: Wait...what?

The Changeling Diaries: Flutterape, Episode 1

Anon: Captain's log, stardate...um...erm...
Anon darts off to the side and pauses his tape recorder for the moment. Not being able to find the stardate, he turns it back on
Anon: Stardate...uh...October 27th.
Anon suddenly realizes that what he's doing is pointless.
Anon: Wait a minute, why am I talking into a tape recorder? Furthermore, where the hell did I get this tape recorder? And WHY am I making Star Trek references? Ugh...maybe I should just go downstairs and eat some breakfast.
Throwing away the tape recorder, Anon goes downstairs and eats some cereal.
Anon (thoughts):Well, today is starting off normal. But as always, a certain yellow pony is going to try and molest me and ruin my peace.
Right after this statement, Anon's doorbell rings
Anon: SPEAKING of which. Ugh...can't she at least let me finish my food before raping me.
Anon goes up to answer the door, finding Fluttershy...with Twilight?
Anon: Yes? Something you need?
Fluttershy starts pacing her hoof around nervously and blushing
Fluttershy: Well...um...I-I've been trying to figure out your fetish for some time now, so I enlisted Twilight to help me.
Anon sighs, looks even more annoyed than he was earlier, and turns to Twilight
Anon: Ugh...what's your excuse?
Twilight: WELL, I've been studying Changeling sexuality, and fetishes are a big part of it!
Anon (thoughts): Of course she would have a "for science" reason.
Fluttershy: Ooh! Isn't this GREAT Anon? We can go through so many fetishes, and we can make you try them out and-
Anon: Ahahahah...NO.
Using his magic, Anon throws Fluttershy and Twilight out the door.
Anon (thoughts): Hopefully, they'll go away now.
They don't. Instead, Fluttershy says something from behind the closed door.
Fluttershy: Oh...um...that's okay, we'll just show fetishes out here...and you'll have to go outside eventually Anon.
Anon: Fat chance! I'm not coming out until Twilight stops helping!
Fluttershy proceeds to whisper something to Twilight, then Twilight shakes her head and speaks up so that Anon can hear.
Twilight: Fluttershy here wants me to teleport her inside your house, but I won't do that. Instead, we'll find a fetish so great you'll come outside!
Anon: Try all you want! I'm not coming outside!
Anon (thoughts): It's going to be a bad day...
Fluttershy and Twilight get out The Big Book of Fetishes, and proceed to try out their nearly endless supply of fetishes, hoping that Anon will be turned on by one. Rather than sit there and watch, Anon goes to the other side of the room to play Starcraft 2. You'd think that Fluttershy and Twilight would go away, but alas, they don't. They stay there and preform their sick fetishes, hoping that Anon notices.

1 hour later, Anon realizes that he has shit he needs to do today, but can't go outside.
Anon (thoughts): Why can't my days ever be NORMAL?
Nexus (thoughtform): I say. What ARE those 2 doing out there?
Anon (thoughts): Don't ask.
Nexus (thoughtform): Well, we have nothing else to do. Shall we go watch them?
Anon (thoughts): Eh, I guess.
Anon heads over to sit by the window, only to notice that Fluttershy is suddenly the size of his house.
Fluttershy: IS MACROPHILIA YOUR FETISH ANON?
Anon: No.
Fluttershy then glows and suddenly disappears. A few moments later, Twilight holds up a very tiny Fluttershy.
Twilight: How about microphilia?
Anon: No.
Tinyshy glows again and is returned to normal size.
Nexus (thoughtform): Yawn. This is lame. I came here to see something hot!
Anon (thoughts): Oh just shove it already.
Twilight and Fluttershy get another idea. The two of them then start to move in closer to...
Nexus (thoughtform): Oh shit, they're playing the trump card!
...have a lesbian makeout! Eeyup!
Anon (thoughts): Hang on...I think I know a way in which we can enjoy ourselves!
Anon: Hey, you two, you're REALLY close to my fetish! Lesbians turn me on!
Fluttershy: OMMIGOSHREALLYOMGIFOUNDHISFETISHYAYSTARCRAFTFORTHEWINILOVEYOUSOMUCH!!!
Anon: HOWEVER, to complete my fetish, you two have to do one thing.
Fluttershy: Oh of course! Anything for you!
Anon: You two...have to HUMP EACH OTHER UNTIL YOU ORGASM!!!
Fluttershy instantly loses all her charisma, and Twilight starts sweating.
Anon: You heard me! I want some hot pony action!
Fluttershy and Twilight stare nervously at each other for a time. Finally, Fluttershy jumps on Twilight and starts mounting her.
Twilight: Uh...uuuh...Fluttershy...stop!
Fluttershy: I...ooh...can't! I...have to...ugh...so I can have sex...with...Anon!
Nexus (thoughtform): Well, they've certainly found MY fetish. Do you mind if I clop to this?
Anon (thoughts): Sure, why not.
With Nexus spiritually fapping, Twilight and Fluttershy continue with their lesbian sex, sweating and moaning as they do it. Fluttershy makes it extra sexy by licking around Twilight's face while mounting her. All the while, Anon sits there on the verge of bursting out laughing. Finally, the two orgasm, and fall on each other. Meanwhile, Anon sits there bellowing out his laughter.
Anon: BWAHAHAHAHAH!!! Oh mother of Celestia, I can't believe you were stupid enough to do that!
Twilight's jimmies get in a rustle, but not as rustled as one might think.
Twilight: That's it Anon! We're going to find something so sexy you'll HAVE to come outside!
Anon (thoughts): Well shit.

2 hours later
"SQUEE"
A chorus of 20 Fluttershys call out
Anon: No.
The Fluttershy's transform into other ponies
Anon: No.
Twilight: Sounding!
Anon: No.
Fluttershy: A strapon!
Anon: No.
Twilight: Fluttershy dressed as a bunny!
Anon: No.
Nexux (thoughtform): Well I for one-
Anon (thoughts): Nobody cares.
Fluttershy: 2 strapons!
Anon: No.
Twilight: Fluttertree!
Anon: Lol no!
Fluttershy: Still 2 strapons?
Anon: Next...
Twilight: Narwhal bacon!
Anon: Wait...what?
Fluttershy: Washing an oldpony!
Twilight: Fluttershy, that's not a fetish. And it's no fun either.
Mr. Waddle: It is for me!
Anon: I knew there'd be a Spongebob joke in there...
Twilight: Well...what should we try next, Fluttershy?
Mr. Waddle: I say we take a bath!
Twilight: What da wha...what are you still DOING here!?!

End of part 1
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