Legendary Pokémon

So,everything happened and THE KIDS DIDN'T DISCUSS WHAT HAPPENED?
(or is it a Chap.18 thing? )

(13-11-2013 12:01 PM)Grim Ripper Wrote: [ -> ]Nice chapter, was great. So now they'll continue in Sinnoh battling gyms and go to E4 ?

Yep!

(13-11-2013 05:44 PM)8hachi8 Wrote: [ -> ]So,everything happened and THE KIDS DIDN'T DISCUSS WHAT HAPPENED?
(or is it a Chap.18 thing? )

What exactly do you mean? What is it that you want?

(13-11-2013 05:56 PM)grassdragon Wrote: [ -> ]

(13-11-2013 05:44 PM)8hachi8 Wrote: [ -> ]So,everything happened and THE KIDS DIDN'T DISCUSS WHAT HAPPENED?
(or is it a Chap.18 thing? )

What exactly do you mean? What is it that you want?

Let's say that you and 3 of your friends went out and something weird happened (eg:aliens kidnapped you).
When you return from the aliens' planet,wouldn't you discuss about what happened?

(13-11-2013 06:02 PM)8hachi8 Wrote: [ -> ]

(13-11-2013 05:56 PM)grassdragon Wrote: [ -> ]

(13-11-2013 05:44 PM)8hachi8 Wrote: [ -> ]So,everything happened and THE KIDS DIDN'T DISCUSS WHAT HAPPENED?
(or is it a Chap.18 thing? )

What exactly do you mean? What is it that you want?

Let's say that you and 3 of your friends went out and something weird happened (eg:aliens kidnapped you).
When you return from the aliens' planet,wouldn't you discuss about what happened?

Probably. I'll include that in Chapter 18.

Suggestions:

(13-11-2013 07:25 AM)grassdragon Wrote: [ -> ](Scrion counters with ULTRA CORRUPTED JUDGMENT!!!)(A Dark Shadow Judgement appears and is thrown at Alcovich, Crystal, and Leo)(Aaron is still unconscious and Darkeus is doing his best to heal him)

(The two attacks collide and the Purification Judgment starts to gain ground on the Corrupted Judgment until the Purification Judgment breaks the Corrupted Judgment and hits Scrion.)

You should take off the parentheses and just tell the events as they are.

Also, you should have spent a few more chapters in the Arceus plotline. It was really interesting.

(13-11-2013 11:03 PM)Alcovich Wrote: [ -> ]Suggestions:

(13-11-2013 07:25 AM)grassdragon Wrote: [ -> ](Scrion counters with ULTRA CORRUPTED JUDGMENT!!!)(A Dark Shadow Judgement appears and is thrown at Alcovich, Crystal, and Leo)(Aaron is still unconscious and Darkeus is doing his best to heal him)

(The two attacks collide and the Purification Judgment starts to gain ground on the Corrupted Judgment until the Purification Judgment breaks the Corrupted Judgment and hits Scrion.)

You should take off the parentheses and just tell the events as they are.

I have parentheses to distinguish between events and dialogue.

(13-11-2013 11:03 PM)Alcovich Wrote: [ -> ]Also, you should have spent a few more chapters in the Arceus plot-line. It was really interesting.

I know I know. I'm just itching to get to my next story which I hope to improve immensely in terms of length and detail. I'm probably going to speed things up. (yes I know this whole story has been way too fast)

I was thinking more along the lines of

Grassdragon Should Have Wrote:Scrion countered with ULTRA CORRUPTED JUDGMENT!!! A Dark Shadow Judgement appeared and was thrown at Alcovich, Crystal, and Leo. Aaron was still unconscious and Darkeus was doing his best to heal him.

The two attacks collided and the Purification Judgment started to gain ground on the Corrupted Judgment until the Purification Judgment broke the Corrupted Judgment and hit Scrion.

Or if you wish, you could translate it to the present tense. I just feel more comfortable writing in the past tense.

Should we move this discussion to the "Writers' Thread"?

(14-11-2013 04:07 AM)Alcovich Wrote: [ -> ]I was thinking more along the lines of

Grassdragon Should Have Wrote:Scrion countered with ULTRA CORRUPTED JUDGMENT!!! A Dark Shadow Judgement appeared and was thrown at Alcovich, Crystal, and Leo. Aaron was still unconscious and Darkeus was doing his best to heal him.

The two attacks collided and the Purification Judgment started to gain ground on the Corrupted Judgment until the Purification Judgment broke the Corrupted Judgment and hit Scrion.

Will do this next story but in present tense.

(14-11-2013 04:07 AM)Alcovich Wrote: [ -> ]Should we move this discussion to the "Writers' Thread"?

You can if you want to.

Silver: Arceus, send Team GalacticRocket---HEY! WHERE DID ARCEUS GO?

Aaron: Arceus is gone Silver. Give up. You’ve lost. Giovanni is the true leader of Team
Rocket. Surrender now or prepare to fight!

Giovanni: No Aaron! This is my battle.

Silver: Fine. Go Salamence. Use Dragon Claw!

Giovanni: Go Rhyperior! Horn Drill!

(Salamence flies into the air and swoops down and delivers to deliver a powerful Dragon Claw on Rhyperior just as Rhyperior’s horn starts to spin rapidly. It’s too late for Salamence to flee when it’s hit by the Horn Drill and faints)

Silver: What the heck?!?! Since when does your Rhyperior know a OHKO move?

Giovanni: I’ve kept many secrets from you Silver.

Silver: Grrrrrr!! Go Swampert! Use Surf!

Giovanni: Rhyperior, use your Surf to ride on top of Swampert’s Surf and then use Hyper Beam!

(Swampert swamps the battlefield with its Surf but Rhypherior rides on top of it and it doesn’t do any damage. Rhypherior’s Hyper Beam then does massive damage to Swampert)

Silver: Swamper! Hydro Pump!

(Hydro Pump hits and knocks out Rhypherior)

Giovanni: Took you long enough son. Go Machamp! Use Cross Chop!

Silver: Swampert. Use Earthquake!

Giovanni: Really? That’s pathetic. Machamp, jump!

(As Swampert begins the Earthquake, Machamp jumps and lands on Swampert’s back and delivers a powerful Cross Chop. Swampert faints)

Silver: GRRRR!!!! Go Alakazam! Use Psychic!

Giovanni: Machamp, Use Payback!

(Alakazam’s Psychic does massive damage to Machamp but not enough to make it faint. Machamp’s Payback is enough to take Alakazam out)

Giovanni: You call yourself a trainer? Ha!

Silver: Go Tyranitar! Use Fire Fang!

Giovanni: Machamp, use Cross Chop again!

(Tyranitar’s Fire Fang bites Machamp’s arms as it uses Cross Chop. Both Pokémon faint)

Silver: Go Metagross! Use Meteor Mash!

Giovanni: Go Nidoking. Use Earth Power!

(Metagross’s Meteor Mash hits Nidoking and Earth Power does major damage to Metagross)

Silver: Metagross, use Psychic!

Giovanni: Use Earth Power to finish this!

(Metagross’s Psychic does a lot of damage to Nidoking and Earth Power knocks Metagross
out)

Silver: NOOO! I LOST!

(A mysterious man appears)

Looker: Silver, I hereby place you under arrest! (handcuffs Silver and takes him away)

Leo: That was rather easy.

Giovanni: That fool of a son of mine doesn’t understand the first thing about battling. He’s
filled with the hatred of Team Rocket consumed him and made him want to kill everyone involved. (to the trainers) Thank you for helping me stop him!

Alcovich: No problem. Defeating Masterminds is the hero’s job description.

Giovanni: (to the former Team GalacticRocket now once again Team Rocket): Team
Rocket, from this day forth, we shall no longer steal Pokémon. We shall use our team to make the Pokémon Universe a better place.

Crystal: Why the change of heart Giovanni?

Giovanni: While I was locked up in the cell, I came to realize that not all of Silver’s hatred
was at fault. I was so caught up in running Team Rocket that I neglected him when he was a child. He could have killed us all today. (to Team Rocket) Let’s go.

(All of Team Rocket and Giovanni depart except for GR)

GR: Hey! Did y’all forget about me?

Aaron: You’re the one that captured that Mewtwo and made things easier for us. Thanks! I didn’t catch your name though.

GR: It’s GR. I knew I had to do something. Silver was just too evil.

Crystal, Leo, and Alcovich: Thanks!

GR: You’re most welcome. Now, I would like to travel with y’all if that’s okay.

All the trainers: Sounds good. Welcome!

GR: Thanks! Let's teleport to Celestic Town.

(GR teleports everyone to the Celestic Town Hotel)

GR: Now do y’all have any idea where Arceus went?

Alcovich: Do we ever. Arceus took us to his Home Dimension.

GR: Do tell.

Crystal: Arceus said that his world was taken over by an evil Arceion, that is an inhabitant
of Arcedion which is Arceus’s homeworld, named Darkeus and that we had to help him stop it by helping Arceus absorb the power of the Rainbow Plate. Well, we did that and it turns out that Arceus was really an Arceion demon god named Scrion and Darkeus, who we thought was evil, actually turned out to be good. We then had to summon the Arceion angelic goddess, Angicon so she could give us the power to defeat Scrion. Things got bad then. Alcovich and I were able to purify Scrion but not before Scrion poisoned Aaron. He almost died but fortunately, I had a special Elixir that was able to heal him. Darkeus then sent us home.

GR: WOW! That’s awesome!

Aaron: Yeah, if almost dying is awesome.

GR: No, that’s not what I meant. I meant the fact that you went to a whole different Universe is awesome.

Crystal: Yeah, it was pretty cool until Aaron almost died.

GR: What do you plan on doing now?

Aaron: We plan on getting the three remaining Sinnoh badges and then taking on the Elite Four and Champion.

GR: Sounds like fun! I have an idea!

Aaron: What?

GR: I can organize a tournament and invite the remaining Gym Leaders all in one place so you can get the remaining badges and then head to the Elite Four!

Alcovich: Cool! Let’s do this!

(night has fallen)

GR: I’ll have the Crasher Wake, Candice, and Volkner teleport here in the morning. Final three Badges here we come!

Damn i wanted to leave alone in a setting sun or something but hey at least i know some special people and i'm able to invite Gym Leaders

GD,check again the Metagross-Nidoking part.

(14-11-2013 06:37 AM)grassdragon Wrote: [ -> ]Silver: Go Metagross! Use Meteor Mash!

Giovanni: Go Nidoking. Use Earth Power!

(Metagross’s Meteor Mash hits Nidoking and Earth Power does major damage to Nidoking) [Hachi's notes:Nidoking hits himself?]

Silver: Metagross, use Psychic!

Giovanni: Another Earth Power should finish this Nidoking. [Hachi's notes:Imo,it would be better if you said ''should finish this Metagross'' or ''should finish this (battle).Nidoking,just do it!'' or sth like that.But at least add a comma.]

(Metagross’s Psychic does a lot of damage to Nidoking and Earth Power knocks Metagross
out)

But it was good!

(14-11-2013 12:24 PM)Grim Ripper Wrote: [ -> ]Damn i wanted to leave alone in a setting sun or something but hey at least i know some special people and i'm able to invite Gym Leaders

You are most definitely special. Your character's full potential has yet to be realized.
It's not just any Team Rocket Admin that can get Gym Leaders to come at his beck and call.


@Hachi
Thanks, and it's fixed!

I'm thinking about abandoning this fanfic. I haven't been able to think of anything good to include in it. It wasn't that good anyway. I'm sorry for all my readers who have enjoyed it.

I will continue Mideival Pokemon though. I've just got to sit down and write it.

If anybody would like to take over and finish this story. Please pm me.